Meanwhile...

Milky Way Galaxy, 3269 RSY (Rebased Standard Year)

"Entry stabilizers, check. Landing coordinates are locked. Should be a smooth touchdown, Deryk, but you'll still want your harness," Lena suggests while guiding their scout craft through what remains of Earth Alpha's atmosphere. She quiets the automated alerts on the panel to her left.

Derek scrolls through a news feed projected in front of his face by his BioNow! implant and grunts as he clicks his seat restraints over his chest. "I know, I know," he says, "It’s just itchy over these stupid uniforms."

Lena grins and huffs, "Maybe if you wore your under-shell..."

"Too hot," Deryk says under his breath. A grating beep goes off to his right. "Oh - we will need to be on tanks and not use the filters down there - toxic air permeates the target location. Not sure how much is leeching below."

"Now you're worried about regulation," Lena chides. The craft vibrates a bit as they descend. "Landing in 5...4...3...2...1."

The almost imperceptible pitch of the engines settles into a low purr. Lena and Deryk grab their equipment and suit up next to the airlock. Deryk sorts rapidly through sensor readings with a series of blinks. "Oh weird," he says, "I can't get a consistent reading of the interior of the caverns - the density numbers are fluctuating, and it's throwing an error, even after a reset cycle."

She nods and waves dismissively, "We can check again down there with the mobile rig. We just have to take some snapshots for the knowledge base - we'll be back with the resource extraction team tomorrow."

“Got it, boss," Deryk confirms as he clicks his helmet into place.

Lena's voice comes over the helmet coms - ”Shall we?"

"Okay, scanning exercise 23F underway," Deryk announces as the airlock closes ship-side and opens to the surface. "Site 63246 - formerly, uh, Denver International Airport."

They walk out to the rocky surface, tan and baked as far as they can see. The mountain ridge stands far off in the distance, partially shrouded by low-hanging dust and gas clouds. The only identifiable landmarks, other than their OM-4 class scoutcraft, are a Corp-installed steel hatch, its former shine etched and clouded by daily sand storms, and a cobalt-flecked statue of an Earth Alpha horse - an incensed stallion rearing back, ready to attack.

Lena approaches the steel dome, flips up the protective cover of the hatch control panel, and types. The dome rises, revealing a doorway.

"Hey, it's not every day you get to see an original Earth Alpha artifact," Deryk says, pointing to the horse. "Probably religious."

The massive metal door slides open. "They don't make art like they used to," Lena concludes. They walk inside, lights flickering on to show a metal catwalk with the edge positioned over a massive hole in the ground, most likely blown apart by the Reformation team during a past Corp visit. "Can you tie up mobile readings before we go down?"

"Sure," he says, using the helmet display. He sighs. "It's still showing a wide variance, like a cyclical density change just about 30 meters down. So weird."

"Okay, we should check that out first. Let's lock in."

They both click into the lowering cables, turn on their light kits, and hop over the edge. The cables lower them down at a steady rate, layers of past construction and rebar and earth visible as they descend - nothing out of the ordinary.

"20 meters...getting closer," Deryk says.

"I can see a platform at the target distance - we should check that before going further. Will be good to have that documented in case we need to submit a replacement claim for the scanner. God…Supply Management. Yuck."

"Heard."

Lena taps in the stop request, and they hover as a catwalk extension deploys. They unhook onto the walkway. Lena points her left hand in front of her. The light on her wrist triples in intensity, showing a long, preserved concrete hallway yet to be hooked up to the universal power supply at the hatch level.

They walk down the hallway, hearing nothing but their footsteps. Ancient dust hangs in the air.

"Can you see that?!" Deryk exclaims and points up ahead, "The flickering green light?"

Lena puts her arm out quickly, stopping their approach. "Confirmed!" she whispers. "Defensive template Onyx - weapons authorized." She motions to approach the wide doorway on each side of the hallway wall.

With each step, the bright green flickering grows, emitting smoke and arcing out from the entrance like bolts of electricity.

"Go!" Lena yells, and they both barrel through the open doorway aggressively, weapons raised. A bolt of blinding light flashes, and they find themselves lying on a lush carpet of perfect green grass, surrounded by bright blue skies, fluffy clouds, and randomly spaced ash trees. On a noticeable short loop, the delightful sound of chirping birds surrounds them, but none can be seen. Three humanoid creatures stand in front of them, devoid of any definable facial features or hands, like rudimentary dolls formed from light green clay, dressed head to toe in 20th-century denim-on-denim outfits, one with an oversized denim shirt tied in a flirty fashion just above its approximate waist (had it not been smoothly cylindrical). Packaged pairs of socks in every color of the spectrum hang on a standalone white slatted wall just 10 feet behind the creatures.

Lena and Deryk stand quickly and aim their weapons. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Lena screams, external comms at top volume.

They raise their putty-like arms, squishing within the shell of the denim outfits.

"Please, do not harm us," they all seem to say simultaneously in a sing-song chant. "We are peaceful - we came here to be. To be...after the fallen time."

"Who are you?" Deryk yells.

The creatures put their arms down and link the ends of their arms together with an audible squelch. "We are Grass,” they sigh together with a dreamy lilt.

"Recorders on, Deryck!” Lena orders, not breaking line of sight with her target. She takes a small step forward, and a visible ripple reverberates through the creatures. “Your people are called…'Grass'?" Lena asks.

A sing-song laughter fills the lush field. "Yes! We are called Grass! We are Grass! We wish freshness for you."

Deryk turns his head quickly to look behind them - it's just green fields stretching out to a beautiful snowy mountain vista where the barren Rockies stood before. "Where's the door?" he shouts.

"Have no fear," the chorus says, "All is Grass. Grass is the door and pathway to Grass."

Deryk looks to Lena, panic settling in. "Orders?" he whispers as the trio stands motionless before them. Bursts of pleasured giggles reverberate around them.

"Scan again - what are the readings right now?" Lena says quietly over the comms.

Deryk blinks through the readings.

One of the creatures points to the wall of socks; Lena instinctively points her rifle in its direction.

"We have wonderful socks for you. Three for Twelve," they say, their musical voices rising with excitement. “Three for twelve!”

"You're not going to believe this," Deryk yells, "The air is perfect, but...well...nothing else is real - it's all plastic, other than the fabrics, and I’m picking up a weird energy signature. Maybe holographic projection?"

The creatures, ignoring the analysis, sing to themselves, "We are fresh! We are fun! We are Grass!"

"Screw this," Lena pivots and shoots the wall of socks. It explodes in a blast of brightly-colored debris.

"THE SOCKS!!!" the voices wail in unison. "THE SOCKS GO WITH EVERYTHING!" Streams of bright green slime trail down the thumb-like heads of the Grass-kin.

One of the creatures throws up a hand. The field starts to evaporate into threads of glowing green smoke. The creatures' wailing becomes singular, piercing the explorers' ears. "You are ungrateful for freshness! You must leave! Leave Grass in peace!"

Lena and Deryk feel themselves zooming backward out of the area as if being pulled by their collars. They get one last glimpse of the Grass-kin before getting chucked out the doorway, and it seems like the creatures start to perform an elaborate swing dance, their jeans replaced with cropped khakis.

The scouts are thrown to the end of the hallway, slamming against the concrete next to the catwalk. They sit up, catch their breath, and look at each other in disbelief.

Lena slumps with resignation. "Mission aborted," she spits, looking down the hallway; no traces of any green glow. "Get ready for a mother lode of paperwork, my friend."

Back to Reality...

My first corporate retail job was working at the Gap (starting at Gap Kids as a stockperson). During my time there, they released a set of fragrances - Grass, Om, and Dream. Even though strong fragrances were not totally allowed for me then, I got a sizable discount on employee purchases, so I picked up a small bottle of Grass to treasure, caution be damned. I wasn't entirely ready for the more feminine vibe of Dream or the strange incense/musk combo, Om, so I opted for the one that projected fresh and clean.

The opening of Grass is exuberant and slightly clumsy - it's not so much an alluring top note as a rote recollection of fresh cut green stuff, combined with a blasted chord of every other note in the fragrance, all at once - a tight spring that later uncoils to a more expansive effect. It's enjoyable on each use, even if it could be more intriguing and complex.

After the top notes fade, Grass becomes a comfy "fresh" scent, just shy of dryer sheet territory with creamy and dusky undertones. The realistic cut grass notes eventually give way to a more generic unisex CK One cucumber/calone vibe that the Gap perfume series was likely an answer to. While CK One holds a certain iconic (infamous?) status, the Gap line wins extra points from the variety and novelty standpoint.

After about two hours, this one gives up the ghost - maybe it's my nose, but I don't get anything other than a very quiet "clean" feel after that, no lingering low-end in the dry-down. The lack of longevity makes me miss the even more quirky "Om" in the series, as that one would switch between brassy synthetic incense and loud white musk for hours - not incredibly kind to others, but more fun.

If you happen to find this one somewhere, I recommend it ahead of other one-note "photorealistic" scents like "Dirt" from Demeter. This one is perfect to spray on for an outing on a hot summer day - all may not be Grass, but all will be fresh (for a couple of hours).